Character Profile: The Magic Mask

'I don't normally look like this.

In fact, the only time in recent years I've looked anything like this is the morning after a I ate a chicken vindaloo in a restaurant on Cowley Road in Oxford. Battling against a demented cyborg baboon from the future is an easy job in comparison.

I gain about 25 kilos of muscle tissue when I don the Magic Mask, which has its own problems. For the record: clothing does not split cleanly at the seams, (this isn't some crummy cartoon, you know), t-shirts and pairs of jeans do not conveniently disintegrate into rags and drop to the floor around your feet. No, no, no. You have to be very careful, especially when wearing clothing such as belts, watches, or boy scout's garters.

Yes. Spandex is a wonderful thing.

Some people, bless their ignorance, have previously questioned my Rescue Priority Policy. How can I put this? An attractive damsel in distress in a luxury beach resort in Italy is still a damsel in distress, however you look at it. People all over the world need rescuing, and all the time, and we can't rescue everyone. Even superheroes have limitations.

As captain of Team Mask, I ensure that the morale of Team Mask is always top-notch by ensuring that the scenery is gratifying, we are well-fed, relaxed, and focused. In fact, most restaurant owners don't even try to charge us, as they are aware of the important work that we do.

I hate some geese. '

Matt

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